


Sanity

by dontcare77ghj



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Funny, Multi, Sanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:41:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20709971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontcare77ghj/pseuds/dontcare77ghj
Summary: Natasha feels she is the only sane one in your relationship





	Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> Leave feedback. Give Kudos. Leave a comment. Add to bookmarks. Buy me a KO-FI

Tony x reader x Natasha

Natasha feels she is the only sane one in your relationship. Having to deal with Tony’s extravagance and your crazy ideas, there was never a dull moment in your relationship.

Even before the three of you had gotten together, Tony was known for making ill thought out purchases and you were known for having reckless ideas. Combined, the two of you often supported the impulsive, expensive acts the other embarked on. It was a wonder Nat hasn’t killed you both.

“Someone want to explain to me why the living room has turned into a florists dream?” Natasha yelled as she maneuvered around the large bouquets and bunches of flowers. There were flowers of every color size and variety covering the surface of the living room.

“Well, none of us were here for Valentines day.” Tony started, entering the room with a glass of scotch and a smirk. “So, this is a late present.” He added, gesturing around the room.

“Did you buy out the whole florist? How the hell did you get this all up here?” Natasha questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t you like them sweetheart?” Tony asked, his grin turning Cheshire like. “And here I was thinking I knew everything about you.” Tony cried, once Natasha shook her head no. “Oh, what am I going to do, knowing that one of my beautiful girlfriends hates, my gift?”

“Tony, what the hell did you do?” Natasha asked, as Tony sat on what little space the couch had.

“I am being romantic.” Tony said, reaching a hand out for the woman. Natasha took his hand and he pulled her to stand between his legs. “I am trying to prove what I feel for you, nothing more.”

“Tony, you do remember I am a spy, right? I can tell when someone’s being dishonest with me, especially you. You have a tick.” Natasha said pointedly.

“I do not!” Tony denied vehemently. “And I promise, there is no ulterior motive for this.” He added.

“Okay, Tony.” Natasha said, raising her hands in surrender. “If that’s the story you’re going with, I believe you.”

“Thank you.” Tony said, he turned his head at the sound of the elevator dinging. “Welcome home, darling.” Tony greeted as Y/N stepped out of the elevator.

Your POV

“Tony, what the hell did you do?” You asked, looking around at the brightly colored flowers.

“Did she text you to say that? Did you tell her to say that?” Tony questioned, looking between you and Natasha.

“Apparently, this is Tony’s way of saying he loves us.” Natasha said, gesturing around the room.

“Did he tell you what he did?” You asked, dropping your bag onto the floor and hanging up your jacket.

“Nope.” Natasha said, moving away from in between his legs. “Do your thing, Y/N.” She added with a smirk.

“Oh, come on you two.” Tony whined as you walked forward. “I promise I told you everything.” He said.

“Is that right, Anthony?” You purred, straddling the man. “Are you sure you told us, everything?”

“Uh-huh.” Tony stammered. “Everything.”

“I hope your telling me the truth, Anthony. I don’t like it when you lie.” You murmured into his ear. You pulled back far enough to give him ‘the face.’

“Well, there might be one thing.” Tony mentioned, eyes softening at the sight of your pout. Quickly you jumped off his lap and stood next to Natasha.

“Busted. Now, what did you do?” Natasha interrogated.

“There might be an alpaca in the spare room.” He admitted with a sigh.

“What the fuck, Tony?” Natasha exclaimed, running out of the room.

“What it’s name?” You asked, giving him a curious look.

“Gerald.” He confessed with a smile.

“Tony.” Natasha started, coming back into the room. “Again, what the fuck?”

“He’s sweet I promise! You won’t even notice he’s here.” Tony promised causing Natasha to sigh.

“Tony, we can’t keep him in the tower. He needs wide, open space and fresh air.” Natasha stated, looking at the man softly.

“But we’ve bonded, you can’t take away a man’s alpaca after we’ve bonded.” He complained.

“How about we keep him at your other house, you know, the one in the country?” You suggested, causing Tony to perk up. “We can look into getting someone to feed him and watch him when we’re not there.” 

“That could work.” Tony conceded with a nod. 

“Great!” You said, clapping your hands together. “I’ll make some calls and sort things out, for now, can you two deal with all this?” You asked, looking around the colorful room. You gave the two a quick kiss before pulling your phone out.

What you didn’t see was Tony quickly snapping a photo of you and Natasha kissing, surrounded by the flowers. Once you’d left the room he saved the picture before sending a copy off to Bruce with the caption;

I get to keep, Gerald!!

“Tash, I swear, he’s the one who started it.”

“Y/N, be that as it may, we don’t lock people in the vents.”

“He had it coming. He’s the one who depleted the entire tower’s coffee supply, I had to deal with Tony, Steve and Thor all going through coffee withdrawals.”

“That still doesn’t mean you had to lock Clint in the vent.” 

“Tony, I don’t care I’m not going to say it again.”

“But, Nat.”

“No, Tony you can’t adopt the spider kid.” 

“Oh what the- Y/N, Tony!” Natasha yelled. Entering the living room you saw the red head glaring at the large center piece of the room.

“Yes, darling?” You asked, smiling innocently at your girlfriend.

“Do you want to tell me why there’s an inflatable dick in the living room?” She questioned, narrowing her eyes at you.

“We’re going to put them on my dad’s roof.” You answered with a shrug.

“What? Why?” She questioned incredulously.

“Because he’s a dick and this is how we let the world know.” You said with a nod.

“What did he do?” Natasha queried, coming to stand closer to you.

“He didn’t do anything important.” You said, refusing to meet her gaze. Natasha continued to move forward, she stopped right in front of you and grabbed your chin in her fingers.

“Y/N, what did he do?” She asked again, this time much firmer. Before you could answer, Tony strolled into the room, more inflatables in hand.

“He basically called you both gold-digging whores, me a disgusting excuse for a human being and condemned the three of us to hell.” Tony grunted, a fierce look in his eyes. He walked towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Explain.” Natasha said, raising an eyebrow. After a beat of silence you finally explained what happened.

“He finally found out we were together.” You admitted. “He called and just started screaming about how disgusted he was. How disgusted he was in me. Just all these hateful slurs and insults. He ended the call by saying he didn’t want to ever see me again.”

“Mudak.” Natasha cursed. “Myshka,don’t worry about him, he’ll either come here begging on his knees for forgiveness or you’ll never have to see that mudak again.” She promised, wrapping her arms around you.

“I know he’s opinionated and I know he’s very vocal about what he believes, but I didn’t think he take it that bad when I told him about us.” You muttered, shaking your head. 

“You don’t need people like that in your life.” Tony stated from behind you. “If he can act like that to his own child, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“Exactly.” Natasha said, pulling back slightly. “We love you, myshka.”

“Yes we do.” Tony agreed.

“I love you both too.” You replied to the two. The three of you stood together for a moment more before you pulled away. “Now, are you going to help us with the inflatables?” You chirped, skipping over to the still inflating objects.

Natasha let out a sigh as you and Tony planned out your revenge. She knew this was idiotic and ill thought out, but you both looked so happy planning this, she’d let you continue, after all, it was harmless.

“Nat, baby, darling, apple of my eye.”

“Oh god Tony, what did you do?”

“I might have broke Steve.”

“How the fuck did you manage that?”

“I might have shown him urban dictionary.”

“Tony, we talked about this.”

“Natasha he is our child, he deserves to know how to deal with these types of things.”

“Y/N, for the last time, he isn’t our child. Which means he definitely doesn’t need to know how to deal with that shit.”

“Natasha don’t you dare mock our sons parentage. Peter Parker is our son and he was having a midlife crisis.”

“He’s 15! He doesn’t need to dye his hair all the colors of the rainbow. He’s going to stand out like a sore thumb on undercover missions.”

“He wanted to stand out! He wants to be remembered at this crucial stage in his life.”

“May’s going to kill us all.”

“Tasha, you wanna tell me who your friends are?” You asked maneuvering around the animals littering your floor.

“Our friends.” Natasha said. She was sat on the ground in the middle of the kitchen, a dog on her lap and cats hanging off her body. “They’re going to be staying with us, so, they’re our friends.”

“Nat, what the hell did you do?” Tony questioned looking around the room.

“I adopted all of them. They were all going to be put down because no-one wanted them, so I took them.” She said, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

“Honey, we can’t keep them all here. There’s too many of them.” You reasoned. 

“There’s ten animals in here. I hope you remember I only wanted one, I only had Gerald.” Tony said, picking a three legged dog off the ground.

“You had an alpaca.” Natasha stated. “Gerald was too big for here. These guys will be fine, and it’s not like we’d keep them all. Only five.”

“Five?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow. “Why five?” 

“The three legged dog for Bucky, the cat with no tail is going to Steve, Thor already claimed the retriever and Wanda said she’d take the two kittens with one eye.” She explained.

“How are you saying that like it’s most normal thing in the world?” Tony asked, giving the red head a look.

“Because it is. They’re all small and they won’t cause any problems, I promise.” She said, giving you both an innocent face. “Can we please keep them?” 

You and Tony both looked at each other, having a silent conversation, before you both nodded.

“Okay, fine.” You said, with a smile. “The five can stay.” You added, sitting next to her and grabbing a cat with it’s back legs in a wheelchair. The young cat purred and affectionately rubbed its face against your stomach.

“Thank you.” Natasha thanked, giving you a kiss on the laps and one to Tony as he sat down.

“Of course, darling.” Tony said, dog still in hand. “Though I do want you to apologize now.”

“For what?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For every time you’ve called yourself sane after we’ve brought something home.” He said, with a smirk. “Because you have officially entered crazy cat lady status.”

“There are only two cats staying.” She defended herself. “And you’ve brought home alpacas and a spider child, that’s not sane.”

“We’re sane.” You interjected.

“Are not.”

“Are so.” 

The three of you sat on the kitchen floor for the next few hours. You talked, kissed and enjoyed the company of each other and your new pets.

Sure, it wasn’t the sanest thing someone could do, but in your relationship it wasn’t the craziest.


End file.
